Dearest Husband,

Oldest Daughter was watching Blue Clues and playing with the Magna-Doodle.  Initially she was drawing portraits of all of us.  They were very interesting.  Sadly, I did not get any pictures of that.

She continued to play with it for awhile, but finally abandoned it.  I was walking by it and stopped short when I saw what was on there…

It was obvious these were letters, but I asked her to translate for me anyway.  So we have O, F, i, T, H, A, and (my favorite) E.  On the bottom line is “L, L, and D”.

She is apparently learning to write.  And I think the E shows that she is an over-achiever.

Your Loving Wife

Dearest Husband,

In a world with spell check and other grammar nazi programs… how does this end up on the main story headline on cnn.com?

Do you see that last line?  “Palin’s future causing rigt in GOP”.

That’s right.. er, rigt.  You saw that rigt.  It’s causing a rigt.  Wow - everytime *I*… rigt…  that, it shows up as a SPELLING ERROR.

Maybe they aren’t using Firefox over there at cnn.com.

Your Loving Wife

Dearest Husband,

I can now begin to add Youngest Daughter’s dialogue to the blogging world.

Her: “Me.. me.. me.. me.. me..”

There you have it.  Should we be worried that one of her first words is “me”?  Hopefully this is just indicative of a very healthy sense of self respect brewing in there.

I’m feeling the urge to throw out everything in the house again.  Be afraid.. be very afraid.

Your Loving Wife

Dearest Husband,

I am delirious.  Never in my life have I gotten up at 5:00 a.m. by choice.  Much less to torture myself exercising in a gym for an hour.  I’m pretty sure this will cure my little staying up late problem in one day, because I’m about to fall over in my chair.

Oldest Daughter is practicing her dictator role today.  Before dance class, she was griping about something or other and I told her to hurry up and get ready and she proceeded to yell at me about making her mad.. AGAIN.  I love the way she tags that on.  So I calmly explained that she needed to hurry and she said, “Thank you, Mommy.  Thank you for listening to me and not making me mad anymore.”  Mmm hmm.

On to dance class.  All the kids were there in Halloween costumes.  She had on her huge tutu and her fairy wings.  She ran right out to the circle and started dancing, but then she saw me there and her little eyebrows lowered and she bellowed, “GO!  GOOOO MAMA!”

I know when I’m not wanted.

So I left.  Went shopping and came and picked her back up.  I got there a few minutes early and they said that the moms could go watch the Halloween Dance the kids were doing.  I walked in - still at the back, mind you, and there she was, dancing her little heart out.  Until she saw me.

“GO MAMA!  GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The first time it was funny.  The second time it was bordering on offensive.  The dance finished and she came over - highly put out that I would dare to intrude on her artistic instruction.  I told her that sometimes mommies get to watch their little girls dance and she informed me that no, they do not.  Because dance class is something she does BY HERSELF.

Heaven help us all if she happens to spot us at their recital at the end of the year.  With cameras, no less.

Your Loving Wife

Dearest Husband,

Today I turned 30.  And with that comes as much thought process as I can muster with two little beasts screaming bloody murder at me for most of the day.

When I turned 20, there was a feeling of relief.  The same feeling that I get when I clean things out and throw them away.  The feeling of getting rid of a burden and having more space for new things.  I was happy to say goodbye to my teen years.

As happy as I was to say goodbye to my teen years, I’m a hundred times happier to say goodbye and GOOD RIDDANCE to my twenties.  My teens were bad for reasons I couldn’t help.  My twenties were bad for reasons I could have helped.  Although they were technically just residual issues from the no-fault teen issues.

Now I sit and ponder over the last ten years and look at who I was exactly ten years ago - one year before I would meet you - and I feel an enormous amount of gratitude that I am not that person anymore.  That the idealism has been replaced with realism and acceptance of what life really is and understanding that it is a process and that we are all in it.  I was in a place of worry about all the unknowns - all the what ifs.  And now I am on the other side of the chasm, looking back across the huge space I have traveled and along the way, I see so many things… a broken engagement, a marriage to a person I barely knew - immediately becoming a stepmother and all that went with that… the ups and downs we had, the years of struggling to have a baby - growing apart and coming back together and ending up in a place that I wasn’t sure was possible for us.

In that chasm are all the obstacles we had to cross - any of which could have completely broken us apart.  But here we are, standing on the other side, with our beautiful girls and our happy home and a marriage that I know is going to last the long haul.  But the BEST part about it is that because we had to cross what we did to get here, I KNOW what I have.  I have the added blessing of being able to totally value my life.  I have no questions about whether there could or would have been better for me.  I am able to live without regret.

Ten years ago, when I turned 20, if I could have looked ahead and described the person I wanted to be on this day, everything I would have said would have described the person I am now.  If I had been asked how I wanted to get there over the next ten years, it would have been nothing like what actually ended up happening.

I’ve often questioned those people that do mountain climbing “for fun” and wonder what is the point.  But I think I have a little bit of understanding about that today.  Because when you work so hard and go through so much pain to get to the top and then you turn around and look at what you’ve done and how far you’ve come, the sense of accomplishment must be paramount.  And there is no other way to truly value the view you have, than to experience the process of climbing to the spot where you can see it.

Your Loving Wife